Almost every industrial machine has a kill-switch -the button or switch used in emergencies to shut down all operations.
As humans it probably won’t surprise you to know that we also have kill-switches – Emotional kill-switches. Ever started talking with someone about a problem and the walls go up? Feelings get hurt? Flexibility turns to an immovable road-block called the person you’re talking to?
That’s probably because you hit a kill-switch!
Don’t worry! They’re hard to see sometimes. Unfortunately not all people come with a manual that tells you the ins and outs of what makes them tick. However, as a leader and co-worker, it is your responsibility and Rubics-cube-like challenge, to get to know those you work with and lead. But don’t worry, even Rubics cubes have how-to guides.
So how do you get to know the kill-switches of those around you?
A sure fire kill switch in almost everyone you work with, is when their thoughts, feelings, or actions, are devalued.
To appreciate literally means to add value.
When you appreciate people you add value to them and vice versa.
Monday challenge of the week, approach one situation/person a day and before anything else, appreciate them.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, well worded, or well thought out. Do the emotional math and add value to one person a day. A simple, “thank you for all you’re doing” no matter how little or much it is. Be specific so they know what you are referring to. Generic appreciation has not been shown to change behavior.
The dividends of simple appreciations are often immediate, and they compound in your effectiveness as a leader in the short and the long run.
Beyond Reason, the capstone book of Roger Fisher’s amazing career in conflict resolution, is the source of the information in this blog-post.